[REPRESENTING THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA’S JOURNALISM PROGRAM]
OG Candace Bushnell in the flesh … likely contemplating her next book or beverage
WRITTEN AS TRAVEL JOURNAL AND AS A WINDOW INTO MY FUTURE
To set the stage…
About a month ago I saw an Instagram post that peaked my interest – beyond the normative curiosity that I exhibit when doom scrolling.
It was from Candace Bushnell’s account – about her One Woman Show in mid-October. For those in the dark, Candace is the creator of Sex and the City – and I am arguably that show’s biggest twenty-something fan.
So I got hype, sent my Mom a screenshot and called her immediately. I had to go. There was no other option. I begged my Mom and told her that I was going to buy us tickets if she booked my flight. It was a perfect trade off that would ultimately lead to me meeting my idol.
They say to never meet your heroes but I was all too willing to take that risk. I love Candace Bushnell that much.
Shortly before seeing said IG post from Candace…
Let’s wind back the clock – to just prior to me seeing said Instagram post.
I had started talking to this guy, let's call him Leo. Backstory: I work for a college apartment building and he is one of the residents.
I know that it’s undoubtedly frowned upon to fraternize and all that. OK. Yes. It’s a bit wrong — but also exciting. I mean, it’s my final year of college.
In any case, at first, Leo was very much outwardly into me, or so it seemed. However, it got complicated quickly – mainly because we are extremely different people. He is a typical country-loving Boy Scout kind of boy. And I am a city-loving “maneater” (or so I’ve been called). He wants a white-picket fence kind of life. Whereas I would settle for a hangover inside my shoebox of a studio in Manhattan.
We really only had one thing in common: We were naturally drawn to each other. Of course, with how different we were as people, I didn't see a real future for us. But I did see a perfect opportunity for a friends-with-benefit situation. It’s a real thing for guys and gals. Just saying.
About a month into “seeing” said neighbor named Leo, I went to College Football Gameday for Florida vs. Vanderbilt. It was the weekend before my Candace Bushnell trip.
At the college football festivities, I ended up hanging with two Florida alumni dudes that I had met the night before. Let’s call them Don and Robert. By the way, Don happens to look just like Mark Sloan from Grey's Anatomy. Which isn’t a bad thing.
Recognizing the one and only, Dr. Mark Sloan — of Grey’s Anatomy and Euphoria fame
I'll say one thing, no nearly-graduated Gator girl loves anything more than finding male Florida Alumni who miss their college years. These dudes have an insane knack for making you realize what you have – and to appreciate every waning moment of it.
Post-grad commiserations aside, they also pay for all the drinks.
Said male Gator Alums made me realize two things that night: One, that I am the full package. Boom. No questions asked. Two, that the man I was “with” – aka Leo – isn’t worth the confusion that he was causing . Yes, these dudes were in full hater-ade mode. Such is life.
The truth is: My man Leo was downright hot and cold. One day he would want me and on other days he would act as if I didn’t exist. What was really puzzling is the fact that Leo wouldn't sleep with me. At the risk of sounding crass, this is something that I had never experienced before. I mean, have you ever met your average college guy?
Anyways, these other two Gator Alums – Robert and Don – were resolute that I was spending far too much time obsessing over every little “Leo-related” happening. Once we were all a few drinks down, these same dudes spent considerable effort making jokes about divorcing their wives for me.
What a horrifying concept – but such is life.
Anticipating Greatness
Flash-forward to 48 hours until I see Candace Bushnell. It all started when I met this mother-daughter duo at the airport bar.
In between glasses of Sauvignon Blanc, we sipped and chatted about our families, boys and everything in between. I had three glasses. They had about six, each. They were on their way to Italy for a girl’s trip. Must be nice.
With beverages flowing freely, the mother-daughter duo were starting to sound like the Gator alum dudes from the bar. Simply put: They thought that I was amazing as well. And I was shocked – because I didn’t get the impression that it was just the wine talking.
Shout out to my favorite show — as well as to the real deal girlfriends who never let their people go it alone
You see, as most women know, men will often gush – because they want something. Conversely, with women, the “compliments thing” is completely different. For example, I don’t care if a guy at the bar likes or doesn’t like my outfit, how I accessorized that night or whatever else it may be. But a woman telling you that she loves your shoes or your look is simply one of the best feelings on this planet (probably because it’s about as rare as a moon rock).
So all of the effusiveness from this mother and daughter pair made me want to buy them a drink (not that they needed another). The only caveat here is that these wonderful women weren’t gushing about my outfit, shoes or appearance. They were gushing over who I am.
Male or female, this is something that most humans likely don’t experience enough. I know that I certainly don’t. So I’ll happily soak in those female-on-female compliments. Early and often.
Alas, after being hyped-up for over an hour, I decided to end whatever it was with Leo (Note to the guys reading this – airport drinking will do this to a gal).
I asked myself, why was I concerning myself with something so unfulfilling? It wasn’t doing anything but leaving me feeling confused and insecure. Never settle, right?
After a quick exchange of communications, Leo and I agreed to be just friends. As soon as it was over, I felt a wave of the old me take over. Thank God. I was back. And suddenly it was time to board my flight.
As luck would have it, I met a man who had recently ended things with his fiancé. He was about 30, moderately attractive and invited me to sit with him. Why not? I'm flying solo and his seat was closer to the front of the plane and if you know me, I like to get off any flight as soon as humanly possible.
Candace Bushnell — like Paige Marquez — is never afraid to kick her heels up in the name of seizing the day
With the plane in the air, I was reading my Sex and the City book for the second time. I kept reminding myself that I was en route to see Candace Bushnell’s One Woman Show in NYC.
I was riddled with excitement.
All the stars were aligning – and I had the meet-and-greet tickets to eventually connect with one of my heroes.
Ready, Set, Showtime
I woke up Saturday elated and ready to seize the day. I was well rested (finally) and had mentally prepared myself for what I was about to experience. My mom and I decided to go to Summit, NJ before we went to the city so we could watch the Gator game and have an early dinner. After two Cosmopolitans each and a light dinner we made our way to the city of dreams. Well, my dreams at least…
On the train ride my mom was unintentionally stressing me out about what I was going to say to Candace. To be completely honest I had no idea. I had barely thought about what I would say – other than: “Candace, I love you.” But we decided on me telling Candace at least one thing:
That I want to write a modern-day Sex and the City – from the perspective of a proud member of Gen Z.
Sex and the City 2.0, per say.
I knew that I had to be careful about how I worded my ambitions to Candace. I’m obviously not trying to bite her work. I just think that women need something like her stories – on an ongoing basis. Thankfully, things like Call Her Daddy by Alexandra Cooper serve a similar purpose. But Candace Bushnell’s work is my OG inspiration. And I simply can’t see myself ever being completely fulfilled to write about something else.
As you can imagine, meeting Candace Bushnell is something that I have dreamed about for years. She has inspired me well beyond anyone else. I have written for pleasure my entire life. I remember being a kid and writing essays on random topics just because I wanted to. However, until I came across Sex and the City, I never knew that someone could actually write about relationships and life experiences the way that she did.
Candace is not only a pioneer for her generation but also a compass for mine.
Generation Z needs someone like her, a modern day version. And I would love to be a contender in that arena: Educating Gen Z members on their relationships and life experiences – with a sense of humor – is exactly what my generation needs.
We take things too seriously. We need to have a good laugh. But I digress.
Once we arrived in NYC, we stopped at a bar right by the show and ordered two more Cosmopolitans and crispy brussels with sriracha aioli. Got to stay hydrated. Then, it was time. I slipped into my stilettos, and we were off to the (presumed) last location of the day: Candace Bushnell’s show.
Now here is where things get weirdly satisfying. For one, we got the best seats in the house. Center front row. Another mother-daughter duo that I happened to meet in the bathroom were sitting right next to us. I love full circle moments.
Front and center — and fully equipped — for what proved to be the show of a young writer’s lifetime
The show then started and I was in awe. I don’t want this to sound too horrible, but Candace and I are quite literally the same person. Every single story that she talked about reflected something I had experienced or could seriously relate to. I felt an immediate connection with her. And that was all I had hoped for.
Candace Bushnell and Paige Marquez — united by the universe and social media algorithms
They often say to never meet your heroes … but in Candace Bushnell’s case, I am happy to report that my dreams are still intact.
When the show concluded I went up to Candace and was ready to meet the person that inspired me to change majors and become a serious writer. The fact is: She’s even more incredible in person. Quite honestly, she might be one of my favorite people on earth: Fabulous, brilliant and entertaining.
After a fantastic conversation that I prefer to keep to myself, Candace then inscribed this note into my hard copy of Sex and the City: “Good luck with writing and Sex and the City 2.0.”
Live and direct from New York City: Candace Bushnell putting it down in writing
I have her blessing. She passed the torch of opportunity.
Naturally, I was cheesing from that point onward. And I still am. I am not even trying to brag but she actually wants to grab coffee with me once I move to NYC post graduation. I repeat: My hero wants to grab coffee with me. Read that one more time.
Without question, this is a pivotal moment in my young career. Whether she fully appreciates it or not, Candace Bushnell gave me so much confidence to believe in myself and my abilities. Carrying on something like Sex and the City is not only a dream anymore.
I just have to keep on pursuing it.
A Fabulous Night
After the show, my mom and I made the decision to go out. Being in a very social frame of mind, we went to two bars: One in the LES and the other in the East Village. From what I have heard, this is where many of the young, post-grad, 20-somethings live.
I met five people. One of which had the same name as the guy that I recently let go, Leo. However, this second Leo was practically drooling over me – unlike the man I was unfortunately just “with.”
Even though I will probably never see this second Leo ever again, it’s a self-inflating feeling to have someone be really into you, even for a moment. Next morning, I woke up with a text from Leo #2 that further inflated my ego.
It’s the little things – but I digress.
That's the plus side of being a 20-something maneater with parents in two different states: I have men in many, many zip codes. Shout out Ludacris and Nate Dogg, by the way.
Back to Reality
Since my trip to NYC, I have come to appreciate a few things. For starters, it turns out that Leo #1 wasn’t my type anyways. Without sounding out of line, I had to learn this the hard way. Use your imagination.
Post meeting Candace, I also feel like I am a brand-new writer. I’m more daring with what I choose to write about – and the confidence to do it again. Like Kobe in the gym, I’ve got a craft that I’m perfecting.
In this respect, I don't think of my future as a dream any longer. Instead, it is becoming a reality. I am even more excited than ever to move to NYC. I know I can handle the city. It’s not daunting anymore. I know I am ready for it.
But the question remains: Is NYC ready for me? Candace Bushnell Part Deux?
Every person I met this past weekend served a purpose bigger than they think. It was like a chain reaction. One person after another making me feel like my best possible self.
I graduate in May. After that my new real life starts. NYC, here I come.
It all begs the question … How do I start my Chapter 1 of Sex and the City 2.0? Is Leo the perfect start? Maybe. Or does he even deserve such a mantle?
For now, I’ll leave you with this: While not all heroes wear capes, some do. And the best ones are pairing it with some Manolo Blahniks.
And to you Candace Bushnell: Thank you for writing – divulging and describing your intimate adventures and everything in between.
Goodnight New York. And see you soon.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Paige Marquez is an alum of the University of Florida, lives in Hoboken and is a CKTH Ambassador