[FROM A PROUD GRADUATE OF THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA’S JOURNALISM PROGRAM]
POST-GRAD IS NOW MY NEW MIDDLE NAME
I recently returned home from my college graduation at the University of Florida. Unlike many of my previous trips down the interstate from Gainesville, this was the first one where I made the trek as a post-grad. College as I knew it: A unique, fulfilling chapter of my life – is forever in the rear view mirror (And unlike many of my more famous fellow former gators — Joakim Noah, Al Horford and Tim Tebow to name a few — I am not currently destined for an NBA or NFL Training Camp).
I try not to look back very often – especially with post-grad nostalgia. Truth be told, I had a pretty good college experience. I'm not sure how it compares to others (not like that matters). Out of all four years, I have to say that senior year was the most memorable. I had the most self-growth this past year, which I think is also a massive cliche; but I’m owning it.
Like many, I still can't believe that I am officially done with my undergraduate experience (special shout out to Professor Ted Spiker and the Journalism School). And as much as I want to just relax and decompress from all my years of non-stop academia, I can't help but wonder what's next. Law School? That ship has sailed. Elle Magazine? Still waiting to hear back.
Got to put these graduation pics to good use
Above points considered, one thing is for certain – I'm now in a transitional period.
I've been graduated for about two weeks now and honestly I haven't been doing much. As much as I hate saying it, I literally have no responsibilities, besides finding myself a job or figuring out my next step. It isn’t a full-blown identity crisis yet – but I can see how this process can suddenly become a slippery slope.
Like many at this intersection, I have been doing school year-round since middle school. My parents perpetually wanted to make sure that I was as prepared as I could be – so I always did summer school. Aka: 10 years of school nonstop. And now I have nothing to do, sort of.
Though it all seems like a trap, these past few weeks have indeed been “carefree and relaxing.” I've spent a lot of time in the sun and under the stars. I am incredibly tan. And I am honestly flat-tired of going out. So there’s that.
I can hear the world’s smallest violin playing off in the distance right now.
At the same time, this has also been the most anxiety inducing stretch-of-time that I have ever endured. I'm still recovering from a rather traumatic panic attack I had the night before I graduated. To put the cherry on top, the secret, “not-so-secret” love of my life nearly died in a car accident. I never imagined that my life could be so damn-near-debilitating even without school or work.
For crying out loud, I need a break from my vacation.
Anybody around here wondering where their college years suddenly went? Asking for a friend. If only becoming Will Ferrell was an option
On the bright side, having so much time off has let me dedicate time to new chapters in my life. One example is a podcast. I have been wanting to start a podcast for years now. So I have been in the preliminary stages of planning that. It's called “Diaries of a 20-Something” and it's very fitting.
As my Dad says, I'm having a month to decompress and relax, which I am clearly not good at because I am starting to go crazy having no responsibilities. Truth be told, I feel like a lowlife.
But I'm hardly a lowlife, I mean I just graduated from UF, or as Forbes says the “New Ivy.” In addition, I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to work for the family company, if I wanted to. Deciding what to do with my life feels like a real world “Would you rather?” prompt.
On one hand, I could work for the family company, make a steady living and stay in South Florida. I wouldn't have to leave anyone or anything behind — except for the passion that has basically gotten me through the hardest times of my life: My writing.
Conversely: In addition to grinding-through whatever I do to pay the bills, I simply remain steadfast in my devotion to writing. If I elevate my game enough, perhaps one day my writing will help pay my rent in New York City — like my muse, Ms. Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. Got to dream it up.
And look: I get it. These are all first-world problems — and I sound like all of the world’s worst Gen Z’s. But I digress.
As of now, I think the wisest decision would be to keep all my options open. Taking the GRE would be a big next step towards unlocking the next opportunity … Grad school? Maybe. We will see how I do on the GRE. For a little background, I haven't taken a math class in a few years now — and I am NOT a great test taker. But hey, maybe I'll be good at it now.
Here is what I am scared of: Choosing a path that will lead me away from personal fulfillment. I am not talking about money or fame. Simply put: I believe that if you follow your passion and do the best you can, the money will come. Similarly, Larry Bird once said: “I've got a theory that if you give 100 percent all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end.” Same same pretty much, Larry.
The truth is that no matter what I am doing, I will always be a writer. In many ways, it is how I define myself. No questions asked, I love being a writer. I love the process of planning and writing an article. Whether it gets read or not, I love sharing my ideas and thoughts. Not to sound dramatic, but the thought of not writing kind of depresses me.
I think it makes sense to look at Beyonce as a source of inspiration here. Because that is a woman that is never satisfied — or idle. On this note, Beyonce has had a crazy successful career in the world of R&B music. She doesn't have to keep making new music and taking new risks, yet she still does. Here she is in 2024, pushing the boundaries of the music industry by becoming a multi-genre artist.
I don't have to write for a living, honestly at this point it seems like that is the harder life path. But, I can't imagine myself doing anything else. I want to push the boundaries of the writing industry.
You just can't knock Beyonce's hustle, and you can't knock mine either.
Can't Knock The Hustle like you miss every shot that you don't take. So we might as well keep shooting like Ad Meliora means onto better things
Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. And I believe that goes for all parts of life. Just because I can work for the family company, doesn't mean I should. It doesn't feel like something I am meant to do. Life is too short to not go after what you want, and that's exactly what my Mom told me recently.
She said “Paige, you're too young to give up on what you really want.” And like all mothers tend to be, she is right. But, what if I never get that job at Elle Magazine?
As my friends and I age, I find myself almost amazed at how many of my girlfriends don't want to work or have a career. I mean, I have a month off – and I feel like I'm going crazy.
“Professional Husband Hunting” is what a woman going to college was known as back then. Is that still what it is behind closed doors? I mean, that seems to be what Harrison Butker thinks.
Inside my University of Florida Graduation ceremony
The truth is, there are a lot of people getting engaged right after college. It's a trend that I keep seeing among recent graduates that, in my opinion, only furthers the “professional husband hunting” narrative. And while there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a housewife, I have to wonder… Where did all the ambition go?
My best friend Elizabeth wants to be a young mom. She is 22 years old and is already thinking about settling down and having kids (pending the right man). Not throwing shade here at all, but is that it?
On the other hand, it's nice to see so many women flame Butker for what he thinks a woman's life goal is. Does he really think that women in 2024 with college degrees want to spend their lives not using it? Better yet, does he think we want college degrees to help our husbands’ careers rather than our own? Think again. I mean, I don't even plan on retiring.
Live and direct from Gainesville, FL
My sister said something to me a while back that I still think about. I was telling her how I want to work until I die (granted, being a writer doesn't feel like work to me) and she said “couldn't be me.” We are also very different in the way we live our lives. I'm very one day at a time and she has her entire life planned out down to the month… I'm not kidding. My sister also loves being home. It's her safe space, her comfort. I hate being home and having nothing to do. She is an introvert and I am an extrovert. However, when we were kids it was the other way around. It seems that as we get older, the more different we become.
A great example of this is the other day when my sister, Dad and I went to an interactive “Marriage Can Be Murder” wine tasting event. Ironic right? I became a part of the show after I was held at imitation gun point. I had no issue with having everyone's eyes on me. I thought it was fun! By the end of the show, Regan had won the Murder Mystery Game and I had been a victim and a suspected murderer. Side note: My sister would have rather really been a real victim than involved as a character.
So Murderous Right Now
My dad has always told me that if you do something you love for a living you'll never actually work a day in your life. I never really understood that until I changed my major to journalism (minus the mandatory reporting classes, I mean literally, you will never catch me being a reporter). But in its totality, I very much appreciate the thinking behind my Dad’s phrase. In the Wes Anderson movie, Rushmore, they call it Max Fischer’s secret:
That being said, you may be wondering what my end goal is. I want to end my career as Editor-in-Chief of a major metropolitan magazine. Anna Wintour… watch out! I'm coming for your job. That's why the Elle Magazine job is so important to me. If I could start my career as an Assistant Editor, it's setting me up for success. I'm sure of it.
I feel like life post-grad is supposed to be uncomfortable and believe me, I have never been so uncomfortable a day in my life. And I have been in countless uncomfortable situations. I keep asking myself: What am I doing? Why am I here? What should I be doing? I feel stuck. Everyone around me has been in a celebratory mood about me graduating college and it's not even something I want to talk about. Why is that?
Not even kidding, on the way up to Gainesville there was one rule. Don't talk about graduation.
My College Graduation Fight Club
Life is a clock that never slows down, it only speeds up. You can't hit pause or go back. But, you can occasionally hit the S.O.S. button. I turn 23 this year and every year seems to be going faster and faster. Soon I’ll blink and be 90. And I am going to try and enjoy every second of it. The bad, the good and the terrible. Bring it on.
We are all just thrown into the trenches of adulthood. Sink or swim. No life jacket, no life ring. Let’s be honest, we’re lucky if we have a rescue boat anywhere on the horizon line. Every decision feels like a desperate game of “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.” It's like being handed a map written in another language and told to find treasure.
But with all the chaos, we discover our own version of adulting: dodging responsibilities, making questionable decisions and celebrating the small victories – like matching all of our socks after a load of laundry. Adulthood may not come with a manual, but who needs one when you have great friends, a sense of humor and the occasional glass of champagne to toast to making it through the day. Here's mine: Cheers to surviving the day and overthinking the rest!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Paige Marquez currently attends the University of Florida and is a CKTH Ambassador